Forgiveness is a beautiful concept and an even better practice — rooted in the heart of Christian belief in a God who grants forgiveness to all who place their faith in him. Increasingly, non-Christian therapists and researchers have emphasized the impact of forgiveness on mental and emotional well being.

Whatever your belief system or world view, forgiveness lived out is complicated. While some experience the granting or receiving of forgiveness as weight lifted, some who have experienced deep wounding have known the command to forgive as a weight carried — all while the one who did the hurting appears to walk scotch free.

This definition of forgiveness, written by Dr. Jeremiah Peck, owner and clinical supervisor at Ally Christian Counseling, offers a picture of the depth and breadth of true interpersonal forgiveness for those who know Christ:

Forgiveness is choosing not to repay someone according to the wrong they have done or the harm they have caused, a process by which the injured suffers and bears the consequence of another’s actions in and on their body, learning to live therewith, and a longing for a future point free of resentment, characterized by healing and fellowship with Jesus.

What do we see about forgiveness here?

First, it is a choice made by an injured party not to repay the wrong done against them.

Second, harm inflicts suffering on the injured party’s body (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual), and therefore the process of naming and taking account of that impact is essential.

Third, forgiveness involves longing for the day (whether on this earth or in heaven) when the hurt party will not experience resentment toward the one who has caused harm.

Fourth, freedom will be known by healing and connection with Jesus.

Many people seek counseling to navigate the pain of abuse, betrayal, and relational ruptures of various kinds. The forgiveness process is one to be considered and not rushed into out of obligation or fear of condemnation. Rather, forgiveness must always be entered into thoughtfully, with wisdom and a heart of gentleness toward the one who has been wounded. If you could benefit from walking with a trained counselor through this process, please contact our office by text or phone call at (360) 977-3798.