You have likely heard of the five stages of grief coined by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969): denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Perhaps you did not know that those stages of grief were originally coined to describe the experiences of terminally ill patients and not “grievers” in general. That said, while many still find the “stages” helpful as they navigate losses of various kinds, the misappropriation of Kübler-Ross’s research also creates some problems for those who grieve.

An unfortunate outcome of popular culture’s understanding of the “stage model” is that grief, which is often circuitous and chaotic, is usually experienced less like stair steps and more like movements or waves of emotion. This can cause those who grieve to feel like they are “moving too slowly” or “not getting anywhere,” left wondering why a closure of stages is elusive.

Additionally, every kind of grief — whether it be the loss of a loved one, life transition, or end of a relationship — is imbued with its own array of feelings and meanings as unique as the person navigating the sorrow. A counselor can be a steady presence as those grieving begin to explore grief’s layers and move gently through the natural human tendency to avoid pain. Skilled counselors not only provide empathic listening, normalize reasonable responses, and offer tools for expression, but they also help illuminate hope — helping clients see the light in the midst of grief’s darkness.

If you could use help walking through grief, please reach out to schedule with one of our compassionate and highly trained therapists by phone or text at (360) 977-3798.