“I feel like you are never around”

“I feel that you don’t care about me”

You may have heard or even used these statements or one’s like them before. Perhaps you were feeling hurt, misunderstood, or lonely, and you desperately wanted to feel understood. You may have even heard it said before that if you want to feel understood or if you want to communicate effectively that you have to use ‘I-statements’ and say what you are feeling. The difficulty is that although the example statements appear to follow those rules, they will likely result in the person you are talking to becoming defensive and closed off.... (read more)